Do you have something to say that you’re not saying?

This is pretty damn simple. If you have something to say, you should say it. However, habitual offenders ruin relationships by keeping things inside and letting them build up. 

If you have something to say and you’re not saying it, you’re the problem. I’m a little frustrated while writing this so there’s probably a more aggressive tone coming out but it’s with good intention. 

My comments to a friend this past week, “Oh, you’re afraid of the repercussions when you decide to say something? How about you consider the consequences of NOT saying something. I’ll let you in on a secret: It will ruin your relationship eventually.” 

So, serious question, why aren’t you saying it?

Quick flashback. I had a conversation with a friend and business colleague 5-6 years ago. We were sitting at lunch and while we’re discussing friends and business acquaintances he mentioned the fact that a large chunk of my long term friends would most likely not be in those roles a few years down the road. Many because of lifestyle buy mostly communication especially if you decide to “climb the ladder.” 

I vehemently disagreed. 

“You don’t know my friends! You don’t know me!” I said. 

Fast forward, he was right. It’s happened a few times. Tough conversations should be had and sure enough, they weren’t. When I brought up things that needed to be discussed, I got an emotional response and then a shut down. This happens in personal and in business. They also have such little experience in voicing their thoughts/feelings that when the time comes, total collapse. Hell, I have a client that literally cannot communicate with his business partner and I have a front row seat to the company (and relationships) collapse. It’s excruciating to see two good people be unable to remove their emotions for a common goal. 

One final note. I get anxious as hell going into tough conversations so I don’t appreciate it when people think I enjoy being blunt and disagreeable. I just want the ideal outcome and the only way we get there is by speaking transparently with a common goal. 

Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments. 

Speak your mind.