This past week flew by. I was in Dallas with Philski for the first two days, then jetted off to Park City to see my dear friends Chris Brandenburg and Adam Letto.
Normally, this annual golf trip has me coming in feeling fairly “light”, but this week was different. I had a lot on my mind, which was making it hard to be “present” much of the first part of the trip.
I was cycling, looking back at the tough decisions I had made the weeks prior and some of the experiences I was having since making those decisions.
Even though I thought out my decisions for quite some time and I’m confident in how I handled them, I still second guess myself.
As two of my mentors would say, it can be a great practice (proceeding with caution) and, I agree as long as it isn’t on a loop.
This was on a loop for a bit, but what is different in my life now is that I work through my emotions much longer before making bigger decisions.
It’s like a road full of speed bumps.
During the week, I was cycling through the different directions people may take from my discussions with them. I had two big discussions with close friends during the same week.
I was afraid. I was anxious.
But I wasn’t going to allow those feelings to drive my decisions. My eight year old self was telling me that when/if people got angry at me, I was in fact doing something wrong.
I was a bad person, my brain would say.
I knew that might happen before I had said discussions, and I went through with them anyway because I’m not going to let fear drive me.
That leads me to something I need to keep admitting to myself… I’m still afraid a lot of the time in general. Just because I’ve turned down my “fear based decision system” doesn’t mean the fear is gone.
Far from it.
It’s a work in progress and the topic of my next session with my mentor, Rex.
My week finished with a special day at Wohali in Park City, Utah, thanks to my dear friend Chris Brandenburg and of course, the Director of Golf at Wohali, EJ.
I’ve never been to a golf course that is shut down (it’s a long story), but they keep the golf course in mint condition waiting for its reopening. We didn’t see ANYONE.
Dead silent in nature.
That really set the tone for me this next week and going forward.
I need a bit more silence. There’s too much noise that I’ve brought my way and, it’s clouding my search for peace.
It’s delaying peace. Short term satisfaction in control too often.
A bunch of stateside Fountain Forward team members are coming into town this week. Very exciting times at Fountain Forward. Looking forward to really listening, and digesting their feedback.
Special shoutout to Adam Letto for bringing really positive energy this week and having some productive conversations. Thanks for driving over to spend time with us and keep up the great work on your golf game.
Also, a warm welcome to the Fountain Forward team members landing in Houston for a special CSM summit this week. Forward!
Good vibes. Chill vibes.
– SJ
Special shoutout to two of our clients (Mark and Eric) for taking me to the Cowboys vs Packers game in Dallas. I’ll never forget the 40-40 tie game. Go Pack Go!