I spent nearly the entire week in Houston with my buddy, Matt. We’ve been friends for 20 years, but haven’t spent as much time together in recent years.
As avid sports fans, we have a lot in common, but there’s one sport that especially brings us together…
Golf.
We worked during the days and golfed until sundown.
We shared laughs, we debated, we cried, and everything in between.
We worked on ourselves and on who we envisioned ourselves to be.
There were a lot of lessons this past week that really made an impression on me.
First, and most importantly, breath.
As I continue to learn, I am reminded daily that applying these lessons begins with my breath. I really struggle with this some days. My breath is the gateway to clarity.
It’s easy for me to forget how important my breath is. Another reason why I love writing.
Second, I’m reminded that ruminating and getting “wound up” about a subject or topic isn’t a good use of my energy. When it’s on my mind, and I need to get something out, just write it down. I find myself bouncing things off a trusted friend, and I often get even more wound up.
It’s always been this way, so it’s not surprising. It feels good getting wound up!
This especially applies to me recently. The more frustrated I get with someone/something, the easier it is for me to remember who I’m actually frustrated with.
Myself. Yup, that’s right… It’s that damn mirror! If you aren’t familiar with “mirror neurons”, this would be a good time to enjoy Googling it.
Third, and most importantly, the importance of building blocks in relationships.
Brick by brick.
Bricks that are carefully laid over time.
A little detail about brick laying: Bricks aren’t placed too high before first drying and curing.
The rule of thumb is not to lay more than four feet of brick in a single day. Attempting to build a giant brick building in one day would prove to be futile.
It’s a great metaphor for my life. Allowing each and every interaction to be what it is, an individual experience which needs no judgement or justification.
Just enjoy the experience.
Speaking of experiences, Matt and I had a special one on Friday. We took the day off to play golf the ENTIRE day.
We loved it lol.
Well, there was a convo earlier in the week where Matt had placed a bit of a judgment on what he was or was not capable of shooting this week, especially at a tough golf course like BraeBurn Country Club.
I mentioned to him that he (or any of us) does not benefit from setting goals (or condemning our abilities). We’re just going to have an EXPERIENCE!
I’ve failed at this mentality hundreds of times, so it’s easy for me to spot this behavior in other people.
Well, fast forward to the 18th hole, and Matt had a chance to TIE his all time record at a really hard course on a tough, windy day. We arrived at his ball, which he had pushed slightly into the wooded area on the right.
I pointed up in between two trees, telling him it’s 170 to the front and 198 to the back, and that’s where I would go if I was him.
He looked at me like I was NUTS lol. He had a clear pitch out to the left where he could have a nice approach and hopefully a look at birdie.
I told him not only is the shot possible, but he would have a chance to get “up and down” for “Eagle” to tie his best score ever, 76.
“Wait, what?” – Matt
He had plenty of talent and plenty of juice (mixed with the fact that I could see it was a jumper lie) and was hitting his irons pretty solid overall.
Matt quickly committed to the shot, and even after I triple checked to make sure, he was locked in!
What happens next I will never forget.
Not only did Matt absolutely flush this shot, but it jumped as well. I watched it TOWER up over the tallest trees, carry the water, carry the hill, all the way to the TINY shelf in the back.
He hit it about five feet from the flag.
What mattered most to me was his ability to make his first decision, and then once he came across new information, he quickly refocused, and he BELIEVED in himself.
Unfortunately, Matt didn’t make that putt, but I genuinely mean this… It doesn’t matter!
That shot, that timing, that score.
That GOLFER! He was HIM.
Not to mention the fact that he had already mentioned he had a great score going a few holes prior and was putting on a CLINIC.
Now that, that’s having an experience. It’s Matt out there having fun putting together a score with the talent and hard work he’s put in.
That’s how I want to remember this week.
That swing and that smile.
That’s what I got to witness, and I can say this with all of my heart… Watching my friend enjoy the game he loves so much brought me so much joy.
I was planning to write about 15 years of memories at Fountain Forward, but the universe had other plans.
Even amidst so much joy, I woke up with anxiety this morning, knowing I have a big week ahead. I’m having an experience!
I’m not going to judge this feeling. I’m just going to get to work.
Chin up, shoulders back.
Great job, Matt. You were ready.
– SJ